Thursday, May 3, 2012

Decision and Quotation

So, I've already decided that I don't like the original intent of this blog.  If you don't know me well, this is normal.  I usually restart projects, especially creative ones, three or four times.  I'm on number three for this one, but I think I've got it down now.  I'll probably make a few edits to the first post to make it fit better with the rest of the blog, but I digress.

The new intent will be to give myself a bit more freedom to talk about anything related to love, relationships, and marriage.  I'm also making a commitment to block away time (2 to 3 hours) each week to blog on one of my two.  So, hopefully I start making some progress at telling a story or "Aha!"ing an insight.

Care for a teaser?  Oh, alright, you talked me into it.  "The truth is that wherever a man lies with a woman, there, whether they like it or not, a transcendental relation is set up between them which must be eternally enjoyed or eternally endured." - C. S. Lewis.

EDIT (28-May-2012):  First post is back.  Much cleaner this time around.  Enjoy!

EDIT (05-May-2012): I'm actually reverting the first post back to a draft.  Looking over it, I can tell it's going to take a little leg work to get it right.  I like the message, but not the journey.  More to follow with that too.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Speech is Silver; Silence is Golden

So, here I am, starting a blog about love.  It might seem like that's a bit of an odd thing for me to do.  After all, I'm a 26-year-old heterosexual male.  If American society is any indication, I should be the last person to talk about love.  So that begs a question.  Why am I writing about something I'm not supposed to talk about?

Let's lay out a situation that might explain my motives.  A friend of mine (Let's call her Joan.) and I start having a conversation over some coffee.  Next thing you know, Joan is telling me about her love life.  And it's everything: troubles, successes, you name it.  I don't mind listening; in fact, I enjoy it.  In all honesty, I think the conversations are more interesting and colorful than those I have with my guy friends.  So, I listen intently.  I know that Joan has come to me because she knows I'll listen and not judge.  She's confiding in me and doesn't need me to be her father.  She just needs to talk things through and she'll figure it out.  But now and then, she doesn't.  She does exactly the opposite of what she ought to be doing.  Or sometimes she'll express feelings that aren't going to be productive but instead hinder her in her quest to be with Mr. Right.  It's at times like that where I want to shout, "JOAN!  What are you doing?"

Joan isn't an isolated case.  I have a good many female friends that trust me a great deal and virtually all of them have acted like Joan at one time or another.  I haven't yet shouted, "What are you doing," to anyone, and I hope never to do that.  I prefer to remain silent as I listen to them tell their stories.  The exact reasons for this varies from case to case, but I've found that it's generally a good policy.  I can remember too many times where I just wanted to talk about my problems and had someone tell me something they thought was good advice, but didn't take into account things like my prayer life, my personality, or my maturity.  I try not to do that to other people.

It's often the case, though, that I have some insight that they haven't thought of.  Perhaps something based on Blessed John Paul II's Theology of the Body.  Or maybe a knowledge of underlying biological processes that are causing certain behaviors.  Whatever the case, there are times I find myself wanting to share that insight, not to tell them what to do but to give them food for thought.  I notice that many of the issues I hear spring from some basic misconceptions about what love and marriage should be and I want to help clear up those misconceptions.  A person has to know the truth in order to be set free by it.

I find too that sometimes it's nice to be able to sort out the conversations and interactions I have for the sake of discovering how they affect my own thoughts and conceptions about love.  I don't claim to be an expert by any means, so I too am continually learning.  I deal with my own issues as well, and the wisdom gained from this experience can only help to clarify love in all it's mysticism. 

And so, it is for that purpose that this blog was created.  This is to be my sounding board for what I believe to be the truth about love, marriage, and family.  It's the opportunity to say what I want to say, without feeling like I'm getting in the way of someone like Joan just venting to me.  It's a way for me to share the sorrows and hardships I experience while trying to find my own true love.  And perhaps someone reading this will relate to something I say and change their life for the better.  I can only hope, anyway...